Just So You Know
by Lilly Barker
Summary: Too foolish to understand a letter written to him in his 7th year Draco now realizes that he may have lost his only chance at true love.
1. Chapter 1

I shouldn't love you but I want to

_I shouldn't love you but I want to __  
__I just can't turn away __  
__I shouldn't see you but I can't move __  
__I can't look away_

I sat there looking at you. Well more in your direction so you didn't see that I was staring at you as you kissed that black haired slut. I know it's wrong and my friends would never approve of me even having a nice though of you. But I can't help myself.

_I shouldn't love you but I want to __  
__I just can't turn away __  
__I shouldn't see you but I can't move __  
__I can't look away_

Today it seems to be getting worse when I walk down the hall and I see you two pressed up against a wall trying to eat each other's face. It breaks my heart to look but I can't look away. I never can.

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not __  
__'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop _

I run up to my room and hid under my blanket for the rest of the day missing my classes. I don't care, I don't want to see you, I need to let go of you but I just can't, I don't know how to stop the feelings I have for you.

_Just so you know __  
__This feeling's taking control of me __  
__And I can't help it __  
__I won't sit around, I can't let him win now _

I walk around for awhile outside trying to think of how to stop this feeling I have about you. It's starting to take over and I can't get you out of mind all I do is think about you, dream about you, and sometimes I even wish about you. But I won't let this get to me again I won't let you win, not this time.

_Thought you should know __  
__I've tried my best to let go of you __  
__But I don't want to __  
__I just gotta say it all __  
__Before I go __  
__Just so you know_

I tried for a week to get you out of my mind but having classes with you and seeing you at school every day and watching you suck her face every time I walk down the hall has made this hard. I tried my best but it's not working. Maybe I'm not trying though like I said it's trying to take control and I think it has. Maybe I should tell you but I don't think you'll like it. I need help!

_It's getting hard to be around you __  
__There's so much I can't say __  
__Do you want me to hide the feelings __  
__And look the other way_

I hate having classes with you. I have to pretend that I hate you with all my heart. But on the inside it's crying out for me to tell you how I really feel, to just blurt it out. But I can't so I try not to look at you, which I'm finding hard. I know what you want me to do. At least I think I know. I try to look at you the way I did the first time we met but its harder now my feelings have changed and so have I.

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not __  
__'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop_

I have spent the past three years of my life pretending I don't care one bit about. Well other then the fact that I want you burn and die. But that's no were near how I feel and I don't know how to look like I still feel that way when I don't. Mostly because this feeling that I have for you won't go away no matter how hard I try.

_Just so you know __  
__This feeling's taking control of me __  
__And I can't help it __  
__I won't sit around, I can't let him win now __  
__Thought you should know __  
__I've tried my best to let go of you __  
__But I don't want to __  
__I just gotta say it all __  
__Before I go __  
__Just so you know_

I'm trying I am but its still not working. I've been trying to let go of you for two months now, but I just can't. So know I want you to know just how I feel. I think this feeling I have is love and love can't and won't go away.

_This emptiness is killing me __  
__And I'm wondering why I've waited so long __  
__Looking back I realize __  
__It was always there just never spoken __  
__I'm waiting here...been waiting here_

I'm dieing inside from the pain you bring by just sitting there and letting me know that I can't have you. Why must you do this do me! I've been trying to let you know and now I realize that I have been trying all my life since the day we met. I've been trying to tell you how I felt but I find that you never seem to notice. I may not have said anything but I was still there and I wait just as I've been for you.

_Just so you know __  
__This feeling's taking control of me __  
__And I can't help it __  
__I won't sit around, I can't let him win now __  
__Thought you should know __  
__I've tried my best to let go of you __  
__But I don't want to __  
__I just gotta say it all __  
__Before I go __  
__Just so you know_

I wrote this to you to tell you that I love you and always have but you never noticed and now I want you to know. Even if you don't care about it I just want you to know. I'm leaving after this year and you may never see me or talk to me ever again but you can stop me. All you have to do is ask. I know you probably don't care and would be glad that the little mudblood is out of your life. But if you care I just want to let you know that I do love and always will.

**A letter written for Draco Malfoy, by Hermione Granger. A copy of this she keeps under her pillow and so dose he, never letting their spouse know that they once loved each other and never let the other know. Keeping secrets is wrong and kills you inside you may find better love after awhile but true love never dies away. –Lilly Barker **

_**A/N: Okay so my first song fic leave a review and tell if you thought it was good, bad, horrid, do I need to trash my computer and key bored for even letting them type and hold this lol.**_

_**Thanks for reading**_

_**Lilly **_


	2. Chapter 2

I shouldn't love you but I want to

_**A/N: Okay little hint bold is Draco and italics is Hermione and underline is the song lyrics. Okay so have fun! And don't forget to review after! Oh and thanks to Lozzy 4992 for giving me the idea to write another thanks!**_

_**Lilly **_

The little things, you do to me are  
taking me over, i wanna show ya  
everything inside of me  
like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating  
my feet are stuck here, against the pavement  
i wanna break free, i wanna make it  
closer to your eyes, get your attention  
before you pass me by

**Even after leaving school I still see you walking by me well any were I go. I still find myself thinking about you. You're never truly out of my mind. And I like it that way. But I can't seem to get you're name right. I've lost it over the years of calling you a mudblood. But maybe if you just talk to me once, say my name, then maybe, just maybe I'll remember yours.**

So back up back up take another chance  
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you  
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you  
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be  
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin  
If I'm better off better off, with out you boy

So don't just leave me hanging on

_I can see you standing there in café' looking at me through the glass. You're steely grey eyes burning into me. I try not look as if I'm staring but you're so hard not to look at. And right when I find myself about to get up and talk to you Ron sits down. I smile at him and he doesn't even notice that I had been look at you. Even though he and all my friends hate you and anything to do with you I still want to get to know you better._

And every time, you notice me by  
holdin' me closely, and sayin' sweet things  
i don't believe, that it could be  
you speekin' your mind and, sayin' the real thing  
my feet have broke free, and i am leavin'  
I'm not gonna stand here, feelin' lonely but  
i wont forget you, and i won't think this was just a waste of time

**I go to the bar one night to get a drink and maybe get you out of my mind. I do this every night but it never helps. And tonight it seems even harder having you be in the table not far from me. I hear you laugh and how I wish that it was me making you laugh. But that would never happen you would never want to talk to me again after what had happened. **going into memory

"What the fuck does this mean mudblood!?" Draco yells flapping a paper in her face.

"What do you think it mean Malfoy? Are you really so dumb that you can't understand the words I love you?" Hermione said calmly and keeping eye contact with the blonde boy.

"Is this some kind of-of joke? Are you trying to mess with my head before the game so that your team will win?" Draco said throwing the paper away from him and pacing the large prefect common room.

"Malfoy you know I don't care about that stuff. And I would never do something like that, you would do! You don't believe me do you?" she says tears coming to her eyes. Her heart was breaking he would never understand how she felt. She wanted to run away as far she could from this idiot. But she stood her ground and didn't let a tear leave her eyes.

"You're right mudblood, as always, that's something that I would do. And of course I don't believe you! This has to be some kind of joke; you think its funny toying with my emotions?" Draco says stopping and facing the girl. Tears are now leaving her eyes as she runs up t her room. Leaving memory

**I come back from thought and look over at you and see that you're leaving. I missed you again it doesn't really matter though because I know you won't ever talk to me again. I can see it in your eyes when ever you do look at me.**

So back up back up take another chance  
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you  
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you  
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be  
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin  
If im better off better off, with out you boy

But don't just leave me hangin on...

_I go to the bar a week after I last saw you at coffee shop and this time I go alone that way maybe you and I can talk, even after what all had happened. I walk into the bar and see that you are sitting at the counter. I walk up to you and sit down next to you. You look at me with shock in your eyes and as soon as I think about getting up to leave you put a hand on my shoulder and smile. "I'm sorry, about the way I acted all those years ago." I smile hearing those words coming out of your mouth. I smile and nod my head. "I really am sorry Hermione."_

_**A/N: Okay so leave me a review and say what you think of chapter two and thanks again to Lozzy 4992 for inspiring me to write more of this. And I'm pretty sure there will be more! **_  
_**Lilly **_


	3. Chapter 3

I shouldn't love you but I want to

**A/N: Okay this so far is my favorite chapter. Partly because this is my favorite song so far. ( Slow me down by Emmy Rossum) I hope you have just as much fun reading this as I did writting it! And you know what would make it more fun...reviewing ha ha.**

Rushing and racing and running in circles moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose  
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning getting nowhereMy head and my heart are colliding, chaotic Pace of the world  
I just wish I could stop it Try to appear like I've got it together I'm falling apart

After talking to him I felt like I can finally let this memory go. I have kept it always going on in the back of my mind since it happened. Hurting me horribly, ripping me worse and worse with each replay. It still hurts but talking to Draco is helping me heal. Being able to tell him that what I had wrote to him was no lie, and most of all, finally being able to share what I felt and even the memory from that night from my eyes.

going into memory

_I sat there on the couch of the prefects' common room waiting for you to come in and hopefully tell me that you felt that same. My heart jumped with joy when I saw you coming into the room. I jumped up and went over to you to hug you but instead you start to yell.___

_"What the fuck does this mean mudblood!?" You yell at me flapping the paper angrily in my face. It hurts knowing that you can't understand. My breath was stuck in my throat for a moment but then it became free and I answered you. "What do you think it mean Malfoy? Are you really so dumb that you can't understand the words I love you?" I said this calmly but inside I was crying. I tried my best to keep eye contact with your beautiful stormy eyes. A bang falls in front of them and I barley hear you answer me.___

_"Is this some kind of-of joke? Are you trying to mess with my head before the game so that your team will win?" You say and it hurts more as I feel my heart ripping. You think this was done to help my team win, that I did this because I wanted to have a stupid cup. Tears coming to my eyes but I won't let you see them; not yet, I'm a Gryffindor I must be brave. But lately have I really been that brave, I couldn't just come to you and tell you how I felt about you. I don't deserve to be a Gryffindor, I'm not brave I'm a coward who had to use letters to tell someone that I loved them and now-now you don't believe me. You start to pace the common room and I watch for a moment before replying.___

_"Malfoy you know I don't care about that stuff. And I would never do something like that, you would do that! You don't believe me do you?" I said the tears were pushing harder now to come out as you stop and look at me. I wanted to run, run far away from here. But my feet stayed planted to the ground. ___

_"You're right mudblood, as always, that's something that I would do. And of course I don't believe you! This has to be some kind of joke; you think its funny toying with my emotions?" You say and my heart has now ripped completely after hearing you say mudblood with that sneer on your face. You still hate me with all your heart. The tears have come out now I can't keep them in any longer and I can't stay here any longer either. I run off, to were, I have no clue but some were. Some were that your not._

And now that memory is not bothering me. Coming into my once peaceful dreams, now I sleep with out a blonde yelling at me. Even though that blonde is not lying there next to me like I'd love him to. But right now I still stay with Ron. He loves me and would never dream of hurting me. But Draco- Draco I just don't know yet. He seems nice enough and with Voldemort gone there is no reason other then him truly being sorry to want be with me. I don't want to hurt him but I also don't want to hurt Ron, I mean he was there when I was down.

Going into memory

_I sat on the edge of the lake shaking from the crying. How could he not get it? I wasn't lying. I had told him the truth, I had showed him my heart, basically given him it. And what does he do? He stomps it into the ground leaving me hurt and broken. I look out onto the lake, how cold it looks, how deep, how tempting. I slip off my shoes and slid my toes into the icing water. I pull my feet back out and take my cloak off leaving it in a pile. I run up to the bridge and pull myself up to the wall my feet hanging over as I sit there readying myself for the jump I'm about to take._

Save me Somebody take my hand, and lead me Slow me down Don't let love pass me by Just show me how 'Cause I'm ready to fall Slow me down Don't let me live a lie Before my life flies by I need you to slow me down Sometimes I fear that I might disappear In the blur of fast forward I faultier again Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep I'm getting nowhere

_"Hermione!" I turn too quickly to see who had called my name and lose balance. I scream expecting the sound of slashing water and the icy coldness of the water below but it never came. I open my eyes and see that the water is still under me and I'm not falling. I looked up and saw my savior his red hair blowing in the wind. His smile bright and his arms were holding me.___

_"You saved me Ron." I said half of me mad and the other half glad he did so.__  
__"I guess so but the water isn't that far down." Ron said setting me back down and then looked and saw that I didn't have any shoes on and my cloak was gone. "Were you going to jump?" ___

_I looked up at him feeling like a retard for the first time in my life. I felt myself turning red as I nodded. He looked at me with fear in his eyes, not the kind of fear you get when you realize that Voldemort is mear feet away from you. The kind of fear that you get when you realized that you almost lost a loved one.__  
__"Hermione, why?" He asked hugging me tightly. I hugged him back and just started to cry again but this time I had someone to comfort me._

That night when Ron caught me I felt something for him something more then you're my friend. I began to not just like him but to fall for him. He had saved me; if he hadn't come out right then I would have jumped and been floating some were in that lake. And I love Ron but now that Draco's back I'm not sure what to do. He really means a lot to me but so does Ron. Have you ever had feelings for two people at once? You love them both yet the love is different.

_"Hermione?" Draco asked one night as we sat on the couch in the living room of the huge house he had inherited after his parents' death. I didn't look up him I just kept my head on his chest and watched the fire. But I did answer him. "Yes?"___

_"What we're doing, is this wrong?" He asked and it surprised me. Draco, Draco Malfoy caring about if what we did was wrong. I didn't say anything at first mostly because I was thinking. 'Was what we were doing wrong?' "Hermione, I mean you are dating-he took a breath-Ron, so wouldn't that make this wrong?"___

_I looked up at him. And in his eyes I saw, what was it? Concern for whom? Surly not for Ron, not the as he would call him "blood traitor."___

_"I guess you're right." I said biting my lip tears coming to my eyes. What would Ron say if he knew what I was doing? It may not have been much but it surly wasn't just friends out for lunch.___

_"Oh, no Hermione please say that you don't still have feelings for that-another breath, he did this to stop himself from saying those unkind words that he grew up using-I mean you don't still love Ron do you?" he said and when I didn't say anything he lifted my head. "Hermione answer the question."___

_"Draco I-I don't know." I said pulling away as tears fell from my eyes. And it was true what Draco had showed me in the last few weeks was amazing but Ron had always been there. And we had so much history together. But Draco, he had shown that forgiving someone for what they might have done can make your life better. Having him in my life made me happy again. And I didn't want that to go away. He sighed.___

_"Draco, Ron and I, well you know we've done so much together, I mean all those things we did to help Harry. I can't just throw that all away for you. He would never forgive me for that. And I don't think I could live my life without him." I said and I saw that this wasn't helping him at all. ___

_"Hermione, I know that you have many happy memories with Scar Head and Weasel but…oh, what now?" He said stopping when I began to cry. I got up from the couch and gathered my things. ___

_"You haven't changed since school; you told me you could throw away those names for me, for us! But you still use them. And let me guess you and your friends are having a real laugh about all the things we do, huh!" I said tears pouring from my face.___

_"Hermione, no I-I, that's not true! Hermione, please it was a slip of the tongue. Please you know that they don't mean anything." He said getting up and stopping me from walking out the door. ___

_"Oh, those names you called them in school don't mean anything do they?! Well just think of the names you called me then, and then you can tell me that those names don't mean anything!" I said pushing past him and walking out the door and leaving the Malfoy Manor._

Ron loves me I know he does he would never do anything to hurt me. He doesn't come up with horrid nick names for my friends. Because my friends are his friends, my life is his life, and his bed is— the letter!

_"Hermione, what's this?" Ron said walking into the living room of our flat and holding a piece of paper._  
_I looked up at him eyes widening as I saw that the paper he was holding was the letter that I kept under my pillow. "Nothing, nothing! Now give it back to me!" I said getting up and reaching for the paper. ___

_"Well, if it's nothing then you won't mind if I read this, now will you?" He said holding it above his head and much out of my reach. "Hermione have you been crying?" he said stuffing the letter into his back pocket.___

_"I'm fine, now please Ron give me that letter!" I said trying to reach around him and grab the letter out of his pocket. He grabs my hands and kisses them making me melt but I still have to get that letter.___

_"'Mione what's wrong?"_

Tell me Oh won't you take my hand and lead me Slow me down Don't let love pass me by Just show me how 'Cause I'm ready to fall Slow me down Don't let me live a lie Before my life flies by I need you to slow me down Just show me I need you to slow me down All that I've missed I see in the reflection Passed me while I wasn't paying attention Tired of rushing, racing and running I'm falling apartThe noise of the world is getting me caught up Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it Just need to breathe, somebody please Slow me down

The world moves quickly around me and most of the time I have no clue what's going on. One moment I'm having dreams of Draco the next I'm kissing him. One moment I'm awaiting Draco to return and the next I want him to go away. But one person has always come and slowed everything down, he tells me every tiny thing he dose and it's so cute. So why can't I tell him what's going on between myself and Draco? I know why because I love him and don't want to hurt him. So what do I do which path should I choose? Draco or Ron, the chose is easy right? Then why is it so hard?

**A/N: Okay so did you like this, yes, no, maybe so. Well please tell me so in a review because I love to hear what you have to say. thanks for reading and hopfully reviewing! Lilly **


	4. Chapter 4

I shouldn't love you but I want to

**A/N: Okay here we have the story (well this part) told by Ron. I really love Ron and am now confused on if she will take him or if Draco will prove himself. Now you will find out soon maybe even in this chapter. I just wanted to warn you that the answer may not be now. Oh, and this one has some DH spoilers. Oh and the song is Who Knew by Pink. ****  
**_You took my hand__  
__You showed me how__  
__You promised me you'd be around__  
__Uh huh__  
__That's right__  
__I took your words__  
__And I believed__  
__In everything__  
__You said to me__  
__Yeah huh__  
__That's right_

"Hermione, are you in here?" I asked walking into the living room and seeing her beautiful face turn to me. A smile spread wide across it. I love her smile I love really everything about her. I mean I even love the bushy hair of hers. I love waking up to her breath on my back and her arm around me. I don't know what I'd do if she ever left me, I don't think that I could live my life with out her. She's my one and only. And I've loved her for so long and now we're finally together and happy.

"Ron, did you want to have to say something to me?" She asked the smile still on her face. I guess I had gone into another land, getting lost in thought about her beauty, which seems to happen a lot. "Ron?" She said again.

"Oh, oh…you got a letter; I think it's from Malfoy." I said handing her the paper that I had put in my pocket. She basically snatched the letter out of my hand. Was she awaiting a letter from him? She sat very still in the chair holding the letter with shaky hands. I watched as her honey eyes followed the sentence. It was silent other then sound of Hermione turning the page around and the sound of her shifting in her seat. Finally I just had to say something the silence was killing me!

"What did he say?" I asked

"Nothing Ron, he said nothing that concerns you!" She said angrily. But she took a deep breath and started over again. "I'm sorry; it was just surprising that's all."

"Can I see it?" I asked holding out my hand already expecting her to hand it to me. But she didn't, she put the paper in her pocket and just shook her head. "I'm sorry Ron, it's my letter please don't ask again. It's for your own good." And that was all she said, she got up and left me standing there clueless. She just walked out the door then and there. I stood there still staring at the chair she had been sitting in. Still standing there in front of the chair after twenty minuets Hermione came back. Her face was a bit red, as if she had been running.

"You're still standing there Ron?" She said walking up behind me. I turned and looked at her still shocked.

"I…ah…where did you go?" I said trying my best not to say anything about the letter. I wanted to read it but I didn't want to get her angry.  
"I went out for a walk, Ron I think we need to talk." She said taking my hand and sitting down with me on the couch. I was scared, she was about to say something I didn't want to hear. But maybe that sorrow in her voice wasn't from that maybe it was because of the letter. I really hope that's the reason!

_Remember when we were such fools__  
__And so convinced and just too cool__  
__Oh no__  
__No no__  
__I wish I could touch you again__  
__I wish I could still call you friend__  
__I'd give anything_

I remember when we were supposed to be in our seventh year. We went out to help Harry with his quest. I walked out on you and as soon as I did I regretted it. Why had I done that? The locket, the locket made me angry, made me think things that may have already been in my head but it truly made them seem so true. But when I finally found them again I found that weren't true but I did find that Hermione was very VERY angry at me for leaving them. Harry got over it seeing as I had saved his life. But Hermione it took her a long time to finally forgive me for what I had done. I could understand why and I was truly sorry about it. But I let her do things her way and didn't argue. I thought that better. You took your time and by the end of the year we had kissed in the middle of a battle. That was great!

_If someone said three years from now__  
__You'd be long gone__  
__I'd stand up and punch them out__  
__Cause they're all wrong and__  
__That last kiss__  
__I'll cherish__  
__Until we meet again__  
__And time makes__  
__It harder__  
__I wish I could remember__  
__But I keep__  
__Your memory__  
__You visit me in my sleep__  
__My darling__  
__Who knew__  
__My darling__  
__My darling__  
__Who knew__  
__My darling__  
__I miss you__  
__My darling__  
__Who knew__  
__Who knew_

"Ron, I…I don't really know quite how to start this. I mean I love you very very much Ron but…" Hermione said not once looking up from her folded hands and into my eyes.

"What was the letter about Hermione?" I asked when she hadn't said anything for awhile.

"What? Oh, it was about, Ron I think that you need to know something. Draco and I have been…seeing each other…and the other night…we had a-a fight. Well I wouldn't quite call it that but still. Now he's sent me a letter telling me he's sorry and how much he loves me. And I-I just d-don't k-know what to say." She said starting to cry.

"Hermione don't cry," I said wiping her tears away gently with my with my thumb.

"R-Ron, I-I love you I just want you to know that."—"I know you do."—"But I love Draco too, so m-much sometimes I think it hurts. But Ron I can't keep doing this to y-you, I love you too much. I feel myself dieing inside betraying my best friend a-and my lover. I come home and you're asleep o-on the couch, you waited for me all n-night. And what had I been doing I had been off with s-some g-guy." She stopped and looked at me hoping I would say something more. But I didn't I couldn't believe what she had just told me. "R-Ron please don't b-be mad at m-me! I just…he was so s-sweet. And he had c-changed; I mean he has c-changed. But Ron I love I do. Please believe me about that if you believe nothing else." Once again she stopped but I still couldn't say anything. My heart was pounding, my brain was going a thousand miles an hour, and my stomach was twisting like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't tell if I was angry, disappointed, or happy, I was so confused by this.

"Ron will y-you please say something! I-I can't t-take it!" She said still having the tears falling from her eyes.

"Have you guys…you know?" I asked because that was truly the only thing on my mind. I couldn't stand the thought of the two of them together.

She sighed and I got what her answer was going to be. "Ron do you really want to know?" she asked knowing that I knew what the answer was.

"I guess you're leaving me for him." I said wishing that the answer was no.

"Ron, I love you and you know that I would never want to hurt you but I just want to see what life would be like with Draco if didn't have the feeling of betraying some one following me." She said. I kissed her as softly as I could before saying. "Sorry 'Mione but you just did." And with that I left her there and went and sat outside on the bench. It was cold but I liked it, it helped with my sore and broken heart.

**A/N: Okay so tell me what you think about this chapter. And no this is not the last chapter. I feel so so bad for Ron in thsi story. ****  
****Lilly **


	5. Chapter 5

I shouldn't love you but I want to

_I want you to know; with everything I won't let this go.__  
__These words are my heart and soul,__  
__I hold on to this moment you know._  
_Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go._

I sat there in the cold for awhile. My butt had numbed and the bench no longer felt cold. I couldn't believe that the love of my life, the person who I would soon ask to marry me, had been cheating on me and was now leaving me for him.

"Ron, do you want to talk?" I heard her ask from the door. I turned around to look at her and my heart ripped more. She stood so still, pulling her coat as close as possible to her body. I wanted to run up and hold her and hold her in my arms and keep her warm. I wanted this all to be over, to act like nothing had happened but I knew I couldn't, this was just too big to brush over.

"No, just go Hermione; go tell Malfoy that you've left me." I said turning around as I felt hot tears leave my eyes. They ran down my face leaving wet paths. Others soon followed these first ones.

"Ron please, I want to talk. I don't want to lose you. I don't want this to be like before. Ron you're my best friend and my—"

"Don't say that Hermione! You said that you wanted to see what life with him was like, without me!" I said cutting her off from what I knew she was about to say. I knew that line so well. _You're my best friend and my lover_. I had told her it so many times and her to me. But all those times seemed so far away.

_Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.__  
__And pieces of memories fall to the ground.__  
__I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.__  
__Cause it's true, I am nothing without you._

"Ron, can't we still be friends?" She asked almost pleadingly. I shook my head and walk past her, my shoulder lightly brushing hers and sending shivers down my spine.

"Hermione, I want you to pack your bags and…" I trailed off I couldn't finish that sentence. I didn't want her to leave. But I knew she had to. So I took a deep breath and finished it. "And leave," She looked at me with tear filled eyes but quickly wiped them away and began to pack. I couldn't believe what I had just done I had told her to her to leave and for the first time her life she didn't fight back. She just did what I told her. She packed her thing quickly and before I knew it she was done. I opened the door for her and she stood there eyes wide awaiting my farewell. But I didn't have one, I couldn't open my mouth, my brain was telling me to close the door. But my heart was saying to pull her back in. I didn't know which to listen to so I said. "Are you sure?" she nodded silently. "I guess this is goodbye then."

"Ron wait, I-I…" She started but the tears let loose full force, having her knees collapse under her.

"Hermione are you okay?" I said pulling her up and hugging her. "It's okay 'Mione, everything's fine." I said trying to be soothing but I'm pretty sure it wasn't working.

"R-Ron nothing is okay!" She said into my neck, I felt her shake in my arms as the tears kept pouring from her eyes. "I'm leaving you for M-Malfoy, you're t-telling me to leave, a-and…and" She had to stop; she had burst into tears again. She was right nothing seemed right. She was in love with her childhood enemy and she was leaving her friend for him.

"'Mione, I just want what makes you happy and if Malfoy is the one for you then your friends will cope." I said rubbing her back. I knew that none of us really liked the idea of Malfoy being a new part of our lives, but we all loved Hermione and would be happy as long as she was. But we'd all be happier if she was with me, making us all related.

"A-are you sure, I m-mean you k-know how Harry is." She said sniffing.

"We've all grown since our years at school. I'm sure Malfoy isn't the little ferret he used to be." I said smiling at her trying to get a laugh out of her. But she didn't laugh; she smiled which was good enough for me.

"He has Ron, I'm sure of it now. But do you think that maybe you could…" Hermione trailed off at the end. I gave her a puzzled look and she finished her sentence. "Could I stay one more night here, I just want to make sure that is what I really want."

"Hermione…I…" I said sadly, I wanted her to stay but I knew it would only hurt worse once she left. I knew she would. I hugged her one last time before saying. "You said you were sure earlier and I think that you need to see what the truth is and so do I." I said kissing her gently. She nodded her head and left. My heart was sore, the pain seemed endless. Oh, how I wished it would stop. But I had feeling it wouldn't. I felt…empty.

_I don't want this moment to ever end.__  
__Where everything's nothing without you_.

_**Ultra Super Special Blah Blah Blah! **_

**(A/N :)**

**I hoped you liked that. Again I have here another sad chapter. I'm sorry about how short this one was but I couldn't bring myself to hurt Ron more. (I'm a Ron person, I love him!) Have you ever noticed that Ron seems to always get hurt in fan fics? Oh well, I still have not decided on weather in the end she will end up with our Mr. Weasly or Mr. Malfoy so feed back would be helpful! Thanks for reading and hopefully you'll review.**

**Lilly **


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing

_**Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing  
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's  
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses  
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood  
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could  
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt  
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt**_

I sat in the library and stared out the window. It was foggy and nothing could be seen. It didn't matter though, my mind was other places.

"Hermione, you in here?" I heard Draco yell for me from the entrance of the library. I didn't feel like getting up…or yelling for that matter so I just sat there and waited for him to come and find me. Which I knew he would. "There you are, I've been looking for you." He said sitting down next to me in the other chair.

I looked over at him and smiled, I didn't feel like talking to him right now.

"I know it's hard right now, but you'll be happy here. I mean a whole library to your self. That'll be nice right? And you have me." He said smiling. I laughed at the end.

"Well if I have you I won't need the books, now will I?" I asked sitting down his lap. He smiled and shook his head and kissed me. It was small but it made me feel better. I smiled and he put his arm around my waist.

"You know I do work so I won't be here _all_ day." Draco said. I smiled, "I know but I have a job too. You do know that?" I said, I didn't remember if I had told him.

"Oh, were do you work?" He asked his head tilted slight. I guess I hadn't told him, or maybe he hadn't been listening at the time.

"Where else would I work?" I asked smiling at him. He nodded and said. "A book shop?"

"Yah, and to think I left you for…Ron" I said pausing for a moment before saying Ron's name. He laughed and hugged me. "You know I think we should be getting to bed it's getting late." He said patting my leg so I'd get up. He got up off the chair we had been sitting on and grabbed my hand. "I'll lead you to my room." He said smiling.

"I think I know were it is Draco, I've been up there enough." I said laughing.

_**Dreams, Dreams  
Of when we had just started things  
Dreams of you and me  
It seems, It seems  
That I can't shake those memories  
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.**_

I tossed and turned all night while I slept in Draco's room. I had never stayed the night here. I was here till three in the morning once but that was it. I woke the next morning expecting to see red hair in front of me but instead I woke to the silver blonde hair of Draco Malfoy. It was odd, he was a little thinner then Ron but my arm fit around me nicely. I smiled into his neck and smelt him. It was nice, a cinnamon smell. It was different then Ron's, his was more like lemon tea. (From the shampoo he used.) I'd miss that smell, but it was soon to be replaced by Draco's. He rolled over, I unwrapped my arms from around him and rolled over too. I was half asleep when I felt him pull me in. I smiled and turned over again. My face was now in his chest, which was topless. I smiled into him as I drifted off into sleep. The smell of cinnamon filling my nostrils.

_Dreaming_

_"Ron, why won't you talk to me!?" I yelled following him. We were back at Harry's. I think it was his 20__th__ birthday. I was running up the hall after Ron his red hair was blowing in font of me._

_"Leave me alone Hermione!" He yelled opening a door and walking in. He slammed it in my face and I stood in front of it for a moment before knocking on it. _

_"Ron, please can we talk?" I yelled through the door. I waited for his reply which didn't come. "Ron, I-I'm sorry." I yelled again._

_"Hermione just…" He trailed off and I heard movement behind his door. The door opened and he stood in font of me before speaking again. "You kissed him, I can't forgive either of you for that." He said and then cut me off as I opened my mouth again. "Hermione, I'm packing my bags tonight and I'll find my own place and move—"Shut it Ron!" I said pulling him into me mid-sentence. He looked at me nervously before I kissed him. He calmed after the moment of surprise had passed. I thought he would pull away, but he didn't. He pulled me into his room and closed the door, not once braking our kiss._

_End Dream_

I woke up and shook my head. The smell of cinnamon had once again come to me. "You okay?" I heard Draco mumble to me sleepily as he felt me shake my head.

"Yah, just a weird dream." I said into his chest. I heard him mumble an oh in reply as I hugged him to me.

'Had I really just had a dream about the night Ron and I had…no, no I didn't, no way!' I thought to myself as my eye lashes fluttered again Draco's chest.

_**The littlest things that take me there  
I know it sounds lame but its so true  
I know its not right, but it seems unfair  
That the things are reminding me of you  
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend  
Even if only for one weekend  
So come on, Tell me  
Is this the end?**_

I woke up again, the third time that day. But this time my face was on a pillow not Draco's chest. I looked over at the pillow next to me, there was a note. I picked it up and read.

_Called in for work, I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm sorry; we'll do something when I get home._

_Love,_

_Draco_

I laid the note down on the side table and walked over to the bath room. I took a hot shower, not a long one but it woke me up more. I stepped out and pulled a towel around me. Walking out of the bathroom I almost screamed when I saw a flash of black hair appear before me. Jumping back I took in the sight in font of me and realized that it was Harry. He really has bad timing.

"Hey," I said wrapping the towel closer. He smirked as he saw me do that. I rolled my eyes and walked past him to the wardrobe. "Is there a reason for your sudden appearance here or are you just trying to catch me unclothed?" I asked chuckling to myself.

"There is a reason, and that's just nasty Hermione!" He said and I smiled. Still the same Harry he was when he was thirteen. "And that reason would be?" I asked pulling out a white blouse and a jean pencil skirt.

"You broke up with Ron!" He said outraged. I looked down at the floor. "Hermione, how…I…you…ugh!" He yelled flopping down on the bed. I threw my clothes down on the bed and sat down next to him. We sat in silence for a moment before he spoke. "Hermione," He asked. "Yes Harry?" I said waiting for his answer.

"Can you change?" He asked sitting up and smiling at me. I sighed and hit the back of his head and then grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom and changed.

"Better?" I asked coming out and walking over to him. He nodded. "Hermione why, why Malfoy? I mean don't you remember school at all?" He asked

"You didn't talk to Ron long did you?" I said and he looked at me puzzled. "I had told Ron about how he had changed, and how I was only doing this to see what life was like—"With out him! I know he told me that part! I just…Hermione he's MAL-FOY!" Harry said jumping up again. "I mean have you even thought about Ron? About how much pain you were-I mean are causing him? You should have seen him when I went over. Pacing and yelling and crashing things down! He looked crazy! I mean Hermione he LOVES you, how can you do this to him!" He said, tears started swelling in my eyes as I got up too.

"Harry, did you ever think about how much pain I was causing myself? I mean I don't want to hurt Ron but at the same time I don't want to hurt Ma-Draco either!" I said softly as Harry stared at me.

"You've known Ron for over ten years! He's loved you for over ten years Hermione! Who gives a flying rat's ass about Malfoy. For all I care he go fall in a bloody ditch! He treated you like dirt for years! And now he suddenly comes into your life and says he's sorry and that makes everything better?" Harry yelled again.

"Bloody hell Harry, Ron took this better then you! You should be happy for me! I have someone I love—"And what about Ron, who dose he have huh? No one, he waited all those long years for you and now you just throw it all away!"

"Harry, I…you know what I'm done! I want you to leave this house; we will talk once you have calmed down some. Invite Ron if you like! But I realize now that this is just useless! Now GO!" I yelled pointing towards the door.

"Hermione I—"GO!" I yelled again and this time he listened and left.

After Harry left I decided to take walk. I wanted to think things over again. Before I left Ron's I had asked him if I could stay and he told me no, that he wanted me to see the truth because he needed to see it too. It hurt him telling me to leave, it hurt seeing him sit out on the bench in the cold, and it hurt most of all when he told me that I had already hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him anymore but from what Harry had told me all I did was hurt him. So how would going back make him feel any better? Maybe we just weren't made for each other. Maybe red and brown just don't go together.

I sighed and looked down at the ground. My coat was hugged tight to my body, the wind was blowing and you could almost feel the clouds readying for snow. I heard my heals click on the ground as I walked. The people around all seemed like couples, couples of red and brown. I wanted to curse them all, why did they have to be out right now. Was the world trying to tell me something? All pieces of gum littered on the ground were red and brown, all the signs around me seemed like the colors were red and brown. Everything I saw seemed to be pointing towards red and brown. I pulled myself away from the colors that reminded me of what I used to have and into a café. Sitting down at a small table I looked around the room. My heart ripped at the sight in font of my eyes. No I didn't see more red and brown I saw silver and black. Draco was snogging some black haired…slut. I looked away trying to calm myself. Maybe, maybe I was just seeing things, Maybe that wasn't Draco. My eyes drifted up to him again and this time I knew it was him. The way his slivery blonde hair fell in front of his eyes, they way his hand was placed on her waist, those were things I thought were special for me but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong about everything, he hadn't changed, he hadn't given up anything he was the same old Draco he had always been. A rude, cold hearted and untrustworthy person.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I tore away from the sight. I got up from seat and walked back out of the café and ran off from the place. Determined to forget what I had seen. My heals clicked loudly as I ran down the cobble stone road. I wasn't sure were I was running to but running helped. I feel to my knees once far away from the café. I was sitting in the grass as the tears fell.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up at the person who's hand had felt some what comforting. The red hair, the smile, and the caring eyes all made me feel…at home.

"What happened?" He asked sitting down next to me on the grass. I looked down at the grass and sniffed.

"He's cheating on me, I don't know how long. But I can tell you that was not work." I said leaning my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back comfortingly. I smiled and kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm so dumb, please tell this isn't the end." I said looking up into his blue eyes.

He looked away from he and I felt my heart drop. "I'm sorry Hermione I just…you cut me deep. I don't know if we can get back together but I would like to be friends. And I think that you should talk to the cheating bastard before I go and knock the lights out of him." He said smiling slightly. He smiled and nodded.

"I'll talk to him tonight." I said pulling myself closer to Ron as we sat in the grass looking out on the park below the hill we sat on.

_Ultra Super Special Blah Blah Blah_

_A/N:_

_Okay, I hope this chapter made since cuz I wrote it in like two days lol, that's really fast for this book. Thank you so much to all of the people who have read and review this story. I can't believe that it's going to be over soon. Yes I'm sad to say that it will be over in the next few chapters. I have finally decided on which guy she will be with and NO I will not tell you. That would ruin everything I have worked so hard on lol. Thanks again for all the reads, Lilly _


	7. Chapter 7

Ultra Super Special Blah Blah Blah

**Ultra Super Special Blah Blah Blah**

**A/N:**

**So I have decided to try my luck at Third person. Yah I know big change. Please tell me what you think of my try at a new POV. Thanks, and yes there will be more of my Blahs at the end! Yes I know you are so excited about that lol. Yes Ron will be in this mainly. I have changed this chapter so many times it's not even funny anymore lol. But now I really liked how it turned out! Enjoy chapter 7**

_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

Ron sat on his bed staring at the other side of it. The room seemed so empty. He had told himself after Hermione had left that he would not miss her. That he would go on, she was only a girl and he could move on and live with out her. But that promise was getting hard to keep.

Her pillow still had the flowery sent that he knew was Hermione. After she left he had hugged it close and smelt the pillow as he drifted off to sleep. It was as close as he could get to having Hermione still in the bed.

"Ron, you need to get some help. I mean you've been wearing that shirt for like what three days now." Harry said sitting down in one of the chairs at Ron's flat.

"HARRY!" Ron yelled as Harry sat down. Harry jumped up as Ron yelled looking alarmed at Ron. "What is there something on the chair?" Harry said turning around and looking at the chair.

"That's were Hermione last sat." Ron said quietly as Harry rolled his eyes at the boy.

"Seriously Ron _help_. Get some, you just told me not to sit a chair that Hermione sat in three days ago." Harry sat sitting down next to Ron on the couch.

"Ugh, Harry you're not helping! I mean is it my fault I miss her? I mean I loved her! I loved her for over ten years!" Ron said getting up from the couch and pacing the room.

"I tried explaining that to her." Harry said watching Ron.

"And when I talked to her she told me she thought Malfoy was cheating on her." Ron said still pacing back and forth.

"Yes I know, you told me. Many times." Harry commented.

"But if he was, wouldn't you think she'd have come over? Or-or something! I mean I told her we could be friends again. What do you thinks holding her back from coming here?" Ron asked his friend as he stopped pacing.

"Ron I've told you, I don't know why she's not here. She probably found out that it wasn't him. That she was seeing things. Don't you remember when you two were dating and everytime she saw a red headed guy snogging someone she thought it was you cheating on her." Harry said, as he had told Ron many times. They had this conversation many times before.

"Ugh!!" Ron groaned as he flopped back down on the couch. "What did she say when you talked to her?" Ron asked looking over at Harry out of the corner of his eyes.

"I told you Ron, she was just saying that she was staying and wasn't going to fight with me right now!" Harry said becoming more irritated by Ron's questions.

"Anything else?" Ron asked not noticing Harry's irritation.

"Ron how about you stop asking _me_ questions and go see _her_! I'm tired of having this conversation!" Harry said getting up off the couch and walking out of Ron's flat. He sighed again, knowing that he should go see Hermione. And it wasn't that he didn't want to see her. But it was just that he missed her so much, the way her hair fell in his face and brushed his face as they kissed. And the way her lips tasted on his tongue. The way she almost fell into his body when she hugged him. Everything about her he missed, but he was too weak to go and tell her that he missed her, to tell her that when she had asked him if it was the end he wanted to say no and that they could be together after he went and kicked Malfoy's cheating ass. But he just couldn't.

_While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

Ron got up from his place on the couch and walked over to the bed room closet. He pulled a box off the top shelf and threw it on the bed. The lid flew off and continents spilled out. Pieces of paper, photos, and books littered his half made bed. Ron walked over and picked up a pile of photos and flipped through them.

One was of him and Hermione when they went to Harry and Ginny's wedding. Hermione and Ron were standing under the arch; he was holding her hands and smiling. He remembered that day well. She had said _this is what it's gonna be like at our wedding._ She smiled saying that and it made Ron blush. He hadn't even proposed to her yet and she was already planning the wedding that would now never happen. A tear came to Ron's eyes as he set the picture back down and looked at the next one.

The next photo was of him and Hermione in what appeared to be a dressing room. Hermione had her arms crossed over her chest, and was smiling; her brown hair was actually looking nice for once. Ron was kissing her cheek and his own was turning light shade of pink. Ron smiled to himself he remembered that day well too. They had been bored and decided that going to the mall in London would be a good way to waste their day. She had been changing into an outfit he had picked out when Ron sneaked in and took some pictures. One of the other photos was a long shot and you could see that Hermione was dressed in some blue jeans and nothing else. Ron was holding her from behind and kissing her neck softly. (They had levitated the camera and put a timer on it) A smile was on her face and her arms were once again covering her chest.

Getting up from the bed Ron put the photos in his pocket. Hermione had been looking for those photos the other day. Who knows if she still wanted them, but it gave him a reason to visit her.

Pulling his wand out of his pocket Ron apperated to Malfoy's house. Ron stood for a moment taking in the house. It was huge; it looked more like manor then a house. Hermione would never leave this; there must a wonderful library held with in it. He shook his head and reminded himself that he was not here to convince her to come back, just to give her the photos. With shaking hands he knocked on the door. He heard the noise echo through the house.

Soon the door creaked open and a small house elf appeared at the bottom of the door. She smiled widely upon seeing him. "'ello, guest of the masters, are you here to see Master Malfoy or Mistress Granger?" The small house elf asked opening the door wider to get a better look at Ron.

"I'm here for Hermione, but if she's not home I can come back later." Ron said still standing in the door way.

"Mistress is still here but she is busy with—"Ron!" Hermione cut Dinny as she pushed past her and hugged Ron. "Come in, come in." She said pulling him in with her.

"Hey, I erm-I found those pictures you were looking for. I'm not sure that you still want them but I-I thought that maybe you'd—"I'd love to have them Ron." Hermione said cutting Ron off just like she had Dinny. He smiled and pulled the pictures out of his pocket and handed them to Hermione. They sat in silence for a while just looking at the photos that Ron had brought. The only thing bringing them out of the pictures was the clinking of glasses from the kitchen. Ron lifted his head and saw Malfoy stick his head out from around the corner. You could tell the sneer that he was holding back as he saw Ron's arm around Hermione as they sat together on the couch.

"Hey Malfoy missed me?" Ron asked shifting his arm around Hermione to were it was tighter and pulling her closer to him.

Hermione looked up and saw Draco staring at her and Ron. She smiled at him, hoping that he would get that she was telling him that there was nothing to worry about, it was just Ron. But she wasn't sure he did.

"Hermione," Ron asked as Draco pulled him self back into the kitchen. "Yes Ron?" She answer still not looking up from the photos.

"What happened? I mean at the café?" Ron asked still looking at Hermione. Her hair was messy again and she was in some sweats and a hoodie yet to him she looked more beautiful then he had ever seen her.

"It wasn't him, I was just seeing things. After I got up I went to his office and found him sitting there and when asking his receptionist if he had left his desk at all today she said that he hadn't moved from his chair since the moment he got in. He had walked in mumbling something to her about getting back home." Hermione said turning red. "It was just like when we started dating, every time I saw a red head—"Kissing someone you freaked I know, but still you couldn't come and seen me? I mean really Hermione I was worried!" Ron said cutting her off.

Hermione tilted her head at him. "Worried about what?" She asked her eyes squinting as she thought.

"I don't know that he might have hurt you. That when you told him you knew what he was doing that he had threatened you, or he had hurt you in some way making you stay." Ron said grabbing Hermione's hand and holding them in his tightly. Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled her hands away from Ron's. "He wouldn't do something like that Ron. He loves me, you need to realize that. I can't have you worrying about me anymore. I'm not your girl; you don't need to protect me from the person I love." Hermione said softly yet the way she said it, it came out powerful and almost hurtful.

"How do you know he loves you? He's Draco Malfoy; he knows what to say to get just what he wants from someone." Ron said leaning in towards Hermione. She closed her eyes for a moment as she shook her head at Ron.

"I just know Ron. I knew that you loved me and I know that Draco dose too." Hermione said opening her eyes and looking into Ron's.

"Well let's just hope you don't hurt him too." Ron said getting up and walking to the door. Dinny opened it for him and Ron thanked her as he walked out and stood on the door step. He didn't know where to go, he didn't want to go home, he wanted to stay and talked to Hermione. Yet he wanted to be as far away from her as possible. He missed her yet he wanted to never see her again. He wanted to kiss her and hold her and love her more then he ever wanted to. But he couldn't, he had that nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that she was better then him. And that he needed to find someone on his level.

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)_

That night lying in her bed with Draco Hermione thought about what Ron had said. '_Let's just hope you don't hurt him too.'_

Even with Draco lying in the bed with her and having his body so close to hers, she felt cold. Draco loved her right? He was the one she loved. She didn't love Ron anymore; he should have been out of the picture. Then why was it that she was lying awake in the middle of the night thinking of him?

It had only been a few days since she ended things with him. And even then had she really _ended_ things? Had she made sure that there was closure? At the time she thought so, but now…now she didn't know what to think.

She flipped over in the bed rolling into Draco. He grumbled before opening his silver eyes. "What's wrong baby?" Draco asked seeing the look on Hermione's face as she looked at him.

"I just miss him Draco." Hermione said hugging him closer. She felt him sigh but she didn't care. He had asked what was wrong in the first place.

"I told you this would be hard Hermione." Draco said kissing her forehead. "I had told you before you even told him about us. You knew what was coming. There was nothing you could do to hold this back."

"But—"Shh…" Hermione had started but Draco cut her off placing his fingers over her lips to quite the girl. "Hermione, I know you miss him. But like you told him. I love you, and you know I do. Everyone will get over all this if we just let it all sink in." Draco said kissing her softly. "Trust me on this, and if you don't like the turn out I wouldn't be mad if you went back to him."

"Draco I would…" He cut her off again by placing his slender fingers over her lips. "Go to sleep Hermione, we can talk more in the morning." She nodded and fell into his arms. He smiled to himself as she melted into him. He would miss this when she left, he knew she would. But he was going to enjoy every minuet he had left of it.

**Ultra Super Special Blah Blah Blah (Part 2)**

**A/N:**

**Okay so I hope this all made since. I know when I answered some of my reviews I had said that it was Pansy (the girl Draco had been kissing) but I changed that, I didn't like how that made the story go. So please tell me what you think of my try at their person! Wow it had been a long time since I had wrote like that lol. Thanks for reading and (fingers crossed) reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8

I've been awake for a while now

I've been awake for a while now  
You've got me feelin' like a child now  
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face  
I get the tingles in a silly place

Laying back on the head board Draco watched as Hermione slept in their large bed. Her frizzy hair spread out over her pillow. The comforter was hiding her body apart from her neck and shoulders.

Draco reached out and hand and traced the bones on her shoulder. She shook his hand off but didn't wake. His hand traveled over her shoulder and over to her neck. He rubbed her neck and then traced her jaw line. Her chin went in slightly in the middle but no much. He ran his fingers over her lips, they were soft and plump. He smiled and kissed her lightly. She finally woke from her slumber. Almost like in a fairy tale.

By Draco was feeling semi childish. As he looked into her soft honey eyes he felt the tingles start to take over his body. The tingles he got when ever he looked at Hermione.

She smiled making him feel the tingles go even crazier. He smiled. They were nice tingles. "Morning Draco," She said quietly as she placed her hand on top of his, which was on her cheek.

"Morning love, how'd you sleep?" He asked rolling over onto his side. She smiled and let her hand go down to her side. "I slept well but I…did you hear what Ron told me before he left last night?" She asked and now the tingles left.

"No not much. Just a few snippets of your conversation. Why, what did he say?" Draco said almost angrily towards the end.

"Oh…nothing, I mean I guess now it was just Ron being Ron." She said shaking her head and smiling. "You want to go out and get some breakfast?" Draco nodded.

"Common lets get dressed, I know just the place." He said pulling her up out of bed and towards their closet.

--

"Draco where are we going?!" Hermione giggled as they ran down a cobble stone street. Draco was clutching her hand and pulling her along as they made their way even further back the long street. Finally they stopped in front of a small shop.

"Draco why did we have to run all the way down here? I mean really we are wiza—"Shh!" Draco said covering her mouth with his free hand. "Muggles," He said nodding towards the café they were about to go into.

"Oh, right." Hermione said feeling herself turn red as he smiled and he pulled her in. "Draco when did you start going to muggle cafes?" Hermione asked in a low voice. Draco smiled, "Since I found this one."

"Oh hello Draco dear, your usual table?" An older woman asked popping up from behind the counter. Draco smiled and nodded. She led them over to a table in front of a window looking out on a park.

The rain is falling on my window pane  
But we are hiding in a safer place  
Under covers staying dry and warm

You give me feelings that I adore

They had been sitting in the café for awhile after they had finished their meal and just sat there talking and drink warm cups of tea. The weather had started to turn and rain now fell from the grey sky above. But neither cared the café was warm and the people were friendly.

Hermione was being quite and Draco was just staring at her. She giggled and he looked puzzled. "You've been staring at me for over a minuet now without blinking." She said smiling. Draco smiled too.

"I can't help it, you're just too beautiful." Draco said and Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're so cheesy!" She said shaking her head at him.

"What's your point? Maybe I like being cheesy." Draco said smirking and leaning in to kiss Hermione. She smiled and leaned the rest of the way so her lips met his. "I love you."

"I love you too Draco." Hermione smiled as she held his hand. "Hermione, I want a baby." Draco said looking over at the table across from them where a small child was being rocked to sleep in its mother's arms.

"Draco having a child isn't like buying something. If you get tired of it you can't just give it away. It's a big responsibility." Hermione said frowning at Draco. He smiled. "I know that, but I think _we_ can handle it." This made Hermione smile. She liked it when he included her in what he said. It made he feel loved but really a baby. That's a huge step, one normally taken by people who are already married. Her hand had slipped from his and back to her cup. Her brows were furrowed and she started to think.

After awhile Draco spoke. "I love you Hermione and I think that…well a child would be nice," She looked up. "I love you too Draco and I think it would be nice."

"Really!? I-I I'm gonna have a baby!" Draco said jumping up and pulling Hermione up into a hug. "I love you so much!" He said into her ear tears coming to his eyes.

Wherever you go  
I always know  
'Cause you make me smile  
Even just for a while

There she lay. Again Draco was up before Hermione. He smiled to himself. Moments like this were some of his favorites. The quite moments before the day began. The gentle breath Hermione gave as she slept. And then when her eyes would flick open the first thing they did was find him. Then she'd smile and rolled over and kiss him. Right now he was luckiest man alive. Or maybe happiest would fit him better. He had a wonderful girlfriend, soon they would be trying for a baby, and he would make sure that child had the best life he could give them. He smiled to himself as he put his hands behind his head.

"Draco…" Hermione said laying her head on his chest. "Yea," He said moving his hands down to hold her. "I think I want a little girl." She said smiling and looking up at him. Draco smiled and kissed her forehead. "Me too."

"Do you have a name in mind?" She asked closing her eyes as he started to rub her back.

"Hermione I just decided I wanted to have a child yesterday." He paused and she looked up at him. He sighed. "I was thinking about naming her after my mother." He said quietly.

"Really, you actually loved your mother?" Hermione said smiling. Draco nodded with a small smile on his lips. "Well then, I really like that idea." Hermione said smiling.

"I do too. Hermione, Draco, and Cissa Malfoy. I love it." He said smiling and kissing Hermione again. She sat there for a moment without saying anything. But then—"Wait you included me in the name Malfoy, Draco I'm not—"Hermione…" Draco started reaching over to the night stand and grabbing a small white box. "Hermione Jane Granger will you marry me?" Draco asked opening the box and revealing a diamond ring.

Its band was made of white gold with small diamonds leading up half way through the band to the large diamond in the center. This was square cut and in Hermione's eyes perfect. "Draco…" Hermione started and Draco waited with wide eyes. The answer was on the tip of her tongue. Yet she couldn't get it out. "I-I…I will, I mean I do…I mean…I'm gonna Mrs. Draco Malfoy!" She yelled hugging him half laughing half crying into Draco. He smiled he liked the sound of that. Mrs. Hermione Jane Malfoy.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: Okay I wish I could put the WHOLE song in here but sadly I can only have three verses

**Authors Note: ****Okay I wish I could put the WHOLE song in here but sadly I can only have three verses. So sad I know. Therefore, I say that you WILL listen to Victim of Love by Good Charlotte because it makes this flow so very nicely! **

**To all those people who have continued to review I loves you very much! And I guess I like those people that read and never reviewed…JOKING! I love you guys too! hugs**

**Oh and incase you had not noticed I did changed to third person. I should be having the next chapter or the one after it in first person but I'll make sure to let you know who's view its from!**

**Once again, my thanks go out to Mr. Word for beta-ing! claps and hugs! Right so read and review my loves!—Lilly (.)**

**--**

_Now you've figured out the things you thought you wanted to say  
But when you open up your mouth they don't come out that way  
Are you really gonna throw your heart away, away, away_

Sitting on the couch Ron stared off into space. Still two weeks after the break up Ron thought nothing but about Hermione. Her laugh, her smile, her smell, her hair, her lips, everything and anything about Hermione Ron had loved. But she didn't feel the same. She obviously thought that everything and anything about Malfoy was wonderful.

But how could that be? He was so…Malfoy-ish! And Ron was…Ron! The man that had loved Hermione since the moment he saw her. Though he had to admit he did think she was a bit bossy. But for him to get things done she was just what he needed. Didn't it seem like they were made for each other? Her being so organized and his… well not. They could keep each other in check. What could Malfoy do for her?! Send an evil death eater to get her laundry! Oh how nice!

"Ron are you home?" Ginny's voice called from his front door. His looked over and saw his red headed sister standing in the hallway. She smiled and sat down next to him. Giving him a warm hug she said into his ear. "You were worrying me Ron. I'm glad you're okay." She pulled away. "You've missed that past two family dinners! Mum's really mad. She's worried too though."

Ron just rolled his eyes. "Sorry, been busy." He mumbled. She smiled sadly.

"I brought a friend." This time her smile was bright as she called for someone to come in. Ron's blue eyes moved to look over in the hallway. A young blonde-haired woman stood in his hallway. She was wearing a light blue scarf, light pink coat, and some jeans. She had large white smile as she walked into the room. "This is Elle; she said she wanted to meet you Ron."

The blonde-haired woman now known as Elle reached out her hand to shake Ron's but he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Get her out Ginny." His sister gave him a puzzled look and he shook his head. "Before she runs off with some guy just like every other bloody woman in my life her out of my damn house!" Ron yelled at her sister. Elle's smiled faded. Her eyes watered but she did not cry.

"Common Elle its okay my brother's just being a dick. You did not do anything. Just go wait in the car." Ginny said smiling warmly at her friend. Once Elle was gone, she rounded on Ron. "What the hell was that Ron?! All she did was say hi! I bet she think you're mental now! You know maybe you two could have gone out for coffee or something! But not now! Ron what do we need to do to help you with this whole Hermione thing! She is not coming back Ron! Get that though your thick ass head!"

"SHUT UP GINNY!" Ron bellowed now standing up. He glared at his sister. "Oh look the lump it moves!"

"Ginny, don't. She is coming back! She is…she will be back! I just know she will!" Ron said as Ginny frowned. She shook her head and looked up at her brother. "She didn't tell you did she?" Ron looked puzzled.

"Ron she's engaged to him. They are trying to have a baby. She is never coming back Ron. Her home is with him, you know like mine is with Harry." Ginny said trying to sound as nice as she could while breaking her brother's heart. "It's time to move on Ron. She's gone."

Ron shook his head. It was not true. It could not be true. She was coming back. "No…" he mumbled falling back onto the couch. His head going into hands. Ginny watched as her brother shook. She bit her lip and sat down. "I'm so sorry Ron. Do you want to come and stay with Harry and me? You know get out of this house for awhile?" She asked rubbing his back soothingly. She waited and after a moment, he nodded. "Alright common we'll drop Elle off and then we'll go home." She said helping her brother up and told him to go sit in the car with Elle while she packed up some of his things.

"I'm sorry about your wife." Elle said as Ron sat down in the back seat behind her. He looked over at her with his head slightly tilted. Then he shook his head.

"She wasn't my wife." He said and then heard her mumble a soft _oh_ before she looked down at the floor of the car. "How do you know Ginny?" He asked tired of waiting in silence.

"Oh we work together at the office." She said quietly. Ron nodded. He had guessed that. "I see the red hair runs in the family." Ron smirked and nodded.

After a moment or two of silence, Ron spoke again. "Look I'm sorry about before. I just…I have been a bit messed up since she ran out on me and junk. But I erm…" He trailed off. Elle now turned around to face him in her seat. Her light green eyes were bright as she waited for Ron to finish his sentence. "I'd really like to go out for coffee sometime." She smiled and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper from her purse. She handed it to him and smiled. The trunk opened and they heard Ginny throw Ron's stuff in the back.

"Alright Ron I got your stuff in the back, Elle you didn't bring anything did you?" Ginny asked and Elle shook her head. "I didn't think so and…what in the world are smiling about?!" Ginny asked, as she looked back at Ron who was smiling to himself as he looked down at the paper. Elle smirked as she buckled her seat belt. "Weirdo," Ginny muttered as she started to pull out of Ron's drive way.

"I heard that Ginny!" Ron said kicking her seat. Elle laughed as Ginny screamed from the sudden jolt. "Ron! I am driving stop that! Ron!" Ginny yelled as she went down the road and Ron continued kicking her seat. "Ron I swear if I crash this car because of you I _will_ kill you!" Ginny yelled as she swerved to avoid crashing into another car. After a moment and another near-crash-experience Ron stopped kicking the back of his sister's seat a smirk still played on his face. About ten minuets later, they were at Elle's house. It was a small white cottage. Nothing fancy, but it did seem homey.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow Gin." Elle said waving goodbye from the window. Then she turned to Ron. She smiled. "Call me," She said and then started walking off. Ron smiled and then looked over at Ginny. She raised her eyebrows before seeing Ron fall out of the car as he hurried after Elle. She was half way to her door when Ron grabbed her arm.

"Coffee…Saturday…me…you?" Ron stumbled with his words. Elle giggled and nodded a large smile on her face. "Great yea…I'll um…call you tonight." She smiled and waved to Ron as he walked away. Falling over the fence as he did so. She laughed as he popped back up and blushed before running off and jumping back into the car.

"Nice one Ron. So smooth. So I see you're recovering from Hermione getting married to Malfoy well." She said smiling and started to drive away. Ron's goofy smile fell as he remembered why he had been sad when he sat down in the chair almost fifteen minuets ago. "Elle's a nice girl. She reminds me of Herm-I mean…erm?" Ginny said regretting she had started that.

"It's okay I know. She reminds me of a younger Hermione too. Only less smart and bossy." Ron laughed half-heartedly. "How old is she anyways?" Ron asked looking up from his hands and over at Ginny.

"I'm not sure. I think about twenty two-ish." Ginny said looking over and seeing Ron mouth drop. She laughed. "What's wrong, she too young for you?"

"No…of course not but whoa!" Ginny rolled her eyes. "That's like five years Gin. You know that makes me feel good. I still got it." Ron said brushing off something invisible from his shoulder.

"Ron you never had _it_." Ginny said laughing. Ron pushed her arm and made the car jerk. "Ron!" She yelled glaring at her brother as he snickered. "You know you're supposed to be my _older_ brother! You know set a good—"Oh please stop Gin you sound like mum and Hermione mixed together!" Ron said. After that, it was a silent ride to Ginny and Harry's house.

_Everybody's hurt somebody before  
Everybody's been wound by somebody before  
You can change, but you'll always come back for more  
It's a game and we're all just victims of love_

"Hey Ron! How's it going?" Harry said pulling Ron into a "manly hug". Ron shrugged and looked around for the boys. As soon as he thought they were out of the room and out of ear shot.

"UNCLE RON!" Came thundering voices along with the thunderous sound as Teddy and James tumbled down the stairs. Ron beamed at them as they hugged him. "Teddy James you've grown!" He said hugging them tighter.

"I have!" James said running over to the wall in the kitchen where there were many black marks on the wall; all with little name scribbled and dates near them. He smiled as James tried to measure himself seeing if he was any taller then the last time they had marked him. Teddy on the other hand just stood next to Ron.

"Where's aunt Hermione? She always comes with you." Teddy asked looking behind Ron. His shoulder leant black hair swinging. Ron smiled sadly. "She's not coming this time. It's just me." Teddy looked confused. "But she always comes with you."

"Yea always! Where's aunt 'Mione!" James said running up next to Harry and looking from him to Ron to Ginny. "Why's aunt 'Mione not here Mummy?" James asked looking over at his mother but she said nothing. Then he looked to his father. "Daddy?"

"She's visiting some friends. She'll be here later." He said smiling at his son. "James, how about you and Teddy take Snuffles for a walk?" Harry said handing Teddy the dog leash. Teddy rolled his eyes knowing that they just wanted them out of the house.

"Common James lets go get Snuffles." Teddy grumbled as he pulled his little brother along with him to the kitchen. Ron smiled as Ted tripped over their umbrella stand. _Defiantly the son of Tonks_ Ron snickered to himself.

"Ron we need to talk mate." Harry said as he and Ron walked into the living room. Ron sat down in one of the armchairs as Harry and Ginny sat down on the couch. Avoiding the field of toy their children had left behind. Mrs. Weasely would not be proud.

"How's Al?" Ron asked trying to avoid the subject he knew that wanted to talk about. Ginny rolled her eyes. "He's up stairs sleeping."

"How are you doing with the whole Hermione thing?" Harry asked not noticing Ron's want to not talk about it, that or he just did not care. Ron mumbled some nothingness and Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "Ron we've opened up our house to you the least you can do is answer my question!" Harry said trying to keep his voice down.

"Well, I can't believe that she'd get married to him. However, I told her before she left that we would cope with her dating him. Nevertheless, at the same time I knew when I said that I was not thinking they would get married! Now they want a child! I just…I thought she loved me. And when she left she seemed like she still did but just wasn't sure and it's been two weeks and now they're getting engaged! I guess I'm just…blown away by how fast someone can go from hating them to wanting to have their child." Ron said twisting his fingers in his lap as he said this. He finally stopped and looked up at Harry and Ginny. They were all quite for a while.

"I'm gonna go check on Al. Ron tell Harry about Elle." Ginny said getting up and running off up the stairs by the fireplace. Harry looked over at Ron puzzled. Ron blushed and began to tell Harry about his talk with Elle in the car. And how he was going to call her later to see when they were going out for coffee tomorrow. By the end, Ron found himself smiling along with Harry.

"So do you like her?" Harry asked feeling as if they were in Hogwarts again. Only this time it was about someone other then Lavender or Hermione. Ron shrugged. "I think so." Harry and Ron both smiled. A few minuets later, the door opened and Ted and James came in pulling a large black dog with them. Their tribute to Sirius, the large black shaggy dog named Snuffles.

"Harry where's your phone? I'm gonna call Elle." Ron said getting up and looking at Harry.

"We have one in the guest bed room." Harry smiled. "Alright James I think it's time you go to bed." Harry said going over and picking up James.

"But dad it's only eight thirty and it's Friday! I always get to stay up till nine on Fridays!" James wined as Harry carried him up stairs. He shook his head and laughed. "Ron the guest bed room is just down the hall the door before the kitchen." Harry called after him. Ron nodded and headed for the bedroom. It was light green with white borders. The bed was a queen size with crisp white sheets. There was a love seat and a bookshelf full of books. He went over to the phone and picked it up pulling the slip of paper with Elle's number on it. He dialed it and waited as it rang. Holding his breath.

"Hello?" A light voice asked. Ron smiled hearing Elle's soft voice. "Hey it's Ron,"

"Oh hey Ron, I was hoping you'd call. So I was thinking that I'd meet you at Ginny's house, I have to sit the children later anyways."

"You're gonna sit on Harry's children!" Ron yelled freaking out.

"No Ron, baby sit. I'm their sitter." Elle laughed into the phone. Ron sighed in relief.

"Good, wait I thought you said you worked with Ginny at the office?"

"I do, I'm here secretary. But I just love her children, so yea I'm their sitter."

"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow then." Ron said looking down at his shoes and then remembered that he was on the phone and well she cannot see him.

"Alright, bye." A moment of silence passed before Elle spoke again. "Ron…?"

"Yea Elle?"

"I erm…I really like you. And I really am sorry about Hermione leaving you. She's missing out you know." Ron smiled

"Thanks Elle, I like you too. See you tomorrow. Bye" Ron said pressing end on the phone after hearing her give a soft goodbye. He leaned back in the love seat and smiled to himself. He could not wait for tomorrow. This was the first time in a long time that he was looking forward to the next day and not wishing that tomorrow would never come that maybe the world would end around him. Tonight was different. He may have just heard the worst news other then Hermione dying but he was happy that tomorrow he would be seeing someone other then Hermione.

--

_Don't try to fight it, Victims of love_

**Authors Notes:**** Yayy! Wow, I wrote that in one sitting! I am very proud of myself! So what did you think of this one. And I have to say that I've changed my mind again on the ending. He he! Deal with my random mind flippings. However, I think that I will keep this one. So far, I really like Elle! And, as far what she looks like well I'd have to say something like ****Reese Witherspoon****in Sweet Home Alabama . Yea that sounds right! Okay so reviews are wanted, needed, and thanked!—Lilly (.)**


End file.
